Between Two Worlds

Sometimes all it takes is one moment to bring back a memory so strong that it feels I'm suddenly split between two different worlds - one far away in the past and one far away in the present. It happened last night, as I was walking down the driveway to close the front gate. It was about 8:30pm and the sun had already disappeared leaving brightly lit clouds against a quiet, darkening sky. The air was mostly still except for an occasional light breeze pushing the warm air around.

I was about halfway down the driveway when I found myself gazing at the clouds ... transfixed by the beauty of the colors against the fading sky. That was when it hit me... a feeling so strong.. like I should be somewhere else. The smell of the wet grass from the yard next door, the warm air... and that sunset...like so many sunsets ..the memories flooding into my mind. Nights like this spent waiting, watching the sky.. camera in hand trying to get the perfect picture of the colors that filled the heavens.

I used to keep a camera with me everywhere I went. Especially when I was up at my mom's house. During the summertime, I would go outside often to move the sprinklers. Most of the watering was done in the late evening when the sun was going down. I used to love being outside at my mom's house at sunset. Some of my best photographs were taken during those times... just before the owls would take flight. The camera's eye never seemed to be able to see the owls.. maybe someday I'll get a picture of an owl..

Someday... someday far off in the past...

It can be painful when a person's mind gets trapped in between the past and the present. I walked the rest of the way down my driveway to the gate - part of my mind still stuck in the memory while the rest tried desperately to focus on the present. It felt like my heart was being torn in half along with my thoughts... the sunset fading as my cats wandered around my feet ... the only thing at that moment that could keep me focused on where I was.

It took at least an hour before I was able to completely let go of that feeling of being lost in another world.. and the rest of the night was spent wishing I could go back to that place in time.. one more time.. the warm air drifting around me as I move the sprinklers.. protecting my camera as I walk through the sprays of cool water...gazing up at the brilliant colors filling the sky .. the light beginning to fade to a gentle darkness... soon the owls will take flight....


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