My Mom Gave Me A Hug


It's been nearly ten years since my mom passed away yet at times it feels like yesterday. I thought I would never be at peace with her passing... the pain of missing her was too much. But something happened a few days ago that finally set me free from my grief.

I was watching the news and thinking about how things in my life would be different if my mom were still around. I was thinking about how much easier it would be for me as I knew that if she were still around, she would help me with my school expenses. If she were still around, I wouldn't have to worry about my car because she would help me get it fixed when it broke down. If she were still around, I wouldn't feel this horrible guilt that I have felt for nearly 10 years because I didn't make her go to the hospital that night.

That was when it came to me. The Lord gave me a vision of what it really would be like if my mom were still around. Her health would be deteriorated far more than it was, she would not be able to help me with my expenses the way she did before because she would have lost a lot of her money when the stock market dropped after the terrorist attack and again when it dropped a few weeks ago. She would be nearly broke, and she would probably have to sell her house - which would mean that she would more than likely be living with me. We would both be worried about money, and she would not be able to afford her medicine for her blood pressure and for her asthma. Basically, things would be really bad for her. Her house would be in far worse shape than it was back then, and it would be nearly impossible to sell it the way the housing market is today. She would be faced with being sick, being without money, and stuck living with her daughter. She would be miserable.

That was when I realized that the Lord had a reason for taking her when He did. God's timing was perfect as it always is. He knew what He was doing. It was not my choice for my mom to leave, and it was not my fault.

It was not my fault

Suddenly, it all seemed to fall into place. Suddenly, I was at peace. I was no longer angry at God, and I was no longer angry at myself. For the first time since my mom passed away, I felt that everything was going to be okay. God is in control, and He knows what He is doing. I broke down and cried .. the grief flowing away with the tears.

I was telling my friend and roommate about what had happened as we were driving home from the store a couple of days later. We got to the driveway, and he got out of the car to close the gate while I drove on up the driveway. As I parked the car, I said a prayer to God thanking Him for showing me the things He showed me. That was when I was given a vision of my mom. It was so real... she was smiling and jumping up and down the way she used to when she was excited and happy about something. Then ... she reached out and hugged me. I could actually feel the hug -- not as if she were actually there, but like a soft breeze enveloping me. I sat there in the car with tears streaming down my face thanking God once again.

My mom gave me a hug, and I miss her so much. I am finally at peace with her passing, but I miss her so much.


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