Bars of a Cage

Ghosts whispering the anger of the past - this phrase came to mind earlier today while I was thinking of how the different images from very early in my childhood have haunted my memories through the years. Fears and sorrows that have been imprinted in my mind. Shadows darkening my thoughts, emotions that were never truly mine flowing throughout my life to influence so much of what I felt was me.

For the most part, I never really noticed how these things effected me until I let myself take a closer look. That's when I saw the fear, the anger, the worry, and the horrible sense of loss that had been placed within me by things from long ago. I could see how these things had been like the walls of a cage placed around me... the bars allowing me to look out and see what was around me but never allowing me to get too close.

I have written more than one song about a cage that surrounds me ... a cage that I willingly imprision myself in but never before have I seen it so clearly - almost being able to reach out and actually touch the bars that hold me inside with promises of protection from unseen danger. For the first time I could not only see the cage itself but also the door. For once I could actually hear and identify some of the whispers that built each bar of this cage and I could feel the anger that I had been holding back. Anger caused by being held in this place for so long by these whispers that were never mine in the first place.

When we are young we become imprinted not only by the people around us but also by the things we see, the things we do, and the things that are done to us. The people around me taught me fear, anger, and how to avoid the pain inside of me. These are the basic building blocks of the cage. Each bar is made up of the whispers from the past.

The good thing is that the bars of the cage are not indestructable. For each shadow that is brought out into the light, for each whisper that is heard and challenged one peice of the cage disappears. Finally, all the bars are broken and a person steps out into a world of new discovery and a much better understanding of themselves.

Some of the bars of my cage are already beginning to disappear. May take a while but I am sure that one day I will be on the outside looking back at the destruction of all that has kept me imprisioned over the years.


Back to Reflections