Surrounded By The Storm


It still haunts me sometimes. The memories of the night when my whole world seemed to fall apart and what I thought would be forever came to an abrupt end.

I still find ways of blaming myself ... thinking I should have seen it the night before. But for some reason I didn't let myself realize what was happening until the harsh reality swept everyting away and I was left with nothing but memories.

I can't help but blame myself ... for something that, when I think about it, I really had no choice in at all. I didn't want things to change... I didn't want to say good-bye.... it was too soon to have to say good-bye.

Now I'm left with memories and nights when I want to go back in time and try to fix things so that everything would be ok...

I guess when I think about it things are never really ok. Things are always changing - sometimes in small ways, sometimes in big ways. I've been told that all change is good. It may not feel that way sometimes but all change is good. Sometimes I don't think this is true .. I guess I am just having a difficult time adjusting to the uncertainty of a life that too often feels like it is in the middle of a storm. The winds of change flowing into even the darkest corners and uncovering all that was hidden away by the dust of complacency forcing them to the surface to be seen and dealt with accordingly.

Seen and dealt with accordingly ... easier said than done but none the less necessary. What is left is - hopefully - a clean slate with which to start a new chapter. A new chapter written by the things learned from the past, the thoughts and feelings of the present, and the hopes of a kinder future.



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